Sexuality is not an issue of the adults, yet the issue of the children. Next to motherly love and nourishment, right from the beginning sexuality is the most important issue in the exploration of its body, its feeling and perception.
It begins ate the early toddler stage with playing on penis, vagina and with the excretions.
In this time lies the first “lever” for the future relaxed or tensed life of the children, which the parents can put into YES or NO.

During the last millennia, it was put into NO. It is indeed the cleanliness training during the beginning of the 20.Century, which had people developing, who, during the world war, found pleasure in torturing and killing. This primal trust, which can develop through the early encounter with one’s own excretions (excrements and seminal fluid) and one’s own sexual feelings, is the irrevocable power of the grown human, who would rather inflict something onto himself than onto another: highest social and human brotherhood as a result and expression of a deep self-love.

At the end of the second 7year cycle, the hormone system performs a massive inner shift via a switch-over. The production of Melatonine in the pineal gland and cortex of the brain added during the first 14 years essentially to a healthy bodily development. Now, it reduces its production and passes the sceptre onto the gonads. From now on, sexual hormones are produced in the lower regions of the body, which lead the emotional awareness of the young people into a new realm of emotional bonding – away from the Spirit. The more they remove themselves from Spirit, the more they depend on an inner balance in order to avoid stranding.

And again, it is up to the parents to support or block the free flow in the life of the kids, to put the “lever” into YES or NO. Will they help the child sensitively into the new sexual-emotional realm of their life or do they project their own contortion onto the child and demonise their feelings? Exactly that happened during the last millennia: One generation burdened their NO onto the next. Each generation weakened the following. Thus at end of the age this spiritual life-breath had to hit rock bottom.

Lets look at the next two 7year cycles: premature physical and emotional closeness led into the realms of the sexual forces – and to distress, rules and restriction of all parties. They, who conceive and birth kids, are still kids themselves. And that is a good thing, as young bodies can conceive and birth healthy children. Yet they lack the inner maturity, to bring these kids up. They have not reached the maturity of their own evolution.

Old bodies don’t conceive healthy children, yet have the inner maturity, to bring them up. They have the necessary distance, to love and bond without engagement. This is the reason that the upbringing of the kids through the grandparents is the original and wise solution in your family structures. The young parents, themselves still half kids, can follow their own development, which is not finished with the birth of the children.

True self-love means to engage totally into one’s own sexuality. Sexuality is not an act between two people, yet a being, which is inherent in each single human. As each person has their own body, so they have their own sexuality, which has to be accepted before a fulfilling sexuality with others can be lived.
Before it is possible to abstain from bodily contact, it has to be deeply experienced and lived. The apple is only sweet when it is ripe.


The five inaugurations of Jesus are the pillar of the Christian doctrine: birth, christening, transfiguration, crucifixion and resurrection. Indeed, these five steps are as old as duality itself and are found in all religions and geneses. These are the five necessary steps, which Spirit has to take to come into the embodiment (Sexus) and to spiritualise there again, without letting the body die. God comes to Earth – within each human, of course!

The first gate leads Spirit through the birth into the earthly life. It is the mergence of your divine Spirit with the density of the planet, the separation from the old home, the forgetting of yourself, the descend into the darkness of matter.

The second gate opens with the christening. You are not washed clean of your sins, as there is no sin. The christening unifies, after 14 years of physical growth and spiritual-psychic forgetting, your divine Spirit with your body and brings your spiritual intentions and a part of your light into the field of density and oblivion.

The third gate is crossed by transfiguring your life. At the end of your fourth 7year cycle your feeling- and mental-bodies are built and stabilized. Meanwhile you have walked the inner path, which turned three quarters of your grown up body into light. The water of life flows like light out of your body. Three quarters of your feelings and thoughts, your words and deeds lie securely within the power and might of your divine will. With the transfiguration of your cell tissue, the spiritual world binds itself to you as brother-sister and descends through you onto Earth.

The fourth gate leads you in your 33. year into the crucifixion of your bodily life. The body has matured into its zenith and now only takes second rank. From now on, the divine Spirit reigns within you, the very one that built your body 33 years ago. You are now in a position to abstain from everything, Earth has to offer, as by now you carry the True Life within you. You can now totally let go of caring about your body, as it is nourished from the spiritual levels. At this level, transfiguration is complete. The matrix of your body assumes the matrix of Spirit and no human need stirs within you any more. Now the human inside your body has moved into another world.

The fifth gate has always been the ambition of all creative longing, of all striving from the beginning of time. The resurrection of the Spirit within the bodily world brings the God-force into those realms, which were for long ages only cold ground of a light seed. The birth of the Spirit within the bodily world is the mergence of Spirit and Sexus. It is the birth of a new planet, a new galaxy, and a new humanity, which radiates a much brighter and finer light into the cosmos than ever before.

This is the second birth of your life on Earth. With it, your body turns into a tool of divine love and divine will on Earth.

You cannot decide by will to walk this path into resurrection. It is a mystery, which happens by itself, when the time has come. The last step, which you can decide yourself on Earth, is the walk into your Hades, the consent to your crucifixion, like Jesus did in the garden of Gethsemane. Resurrection happens by itself.


Just like with taking in food, in the sexual encounter you satisfy your bodily, emotional and spiritual needs. Even if you do this in the company of others, it still applies to your own needs.

In contact with a partner you experience the spiritual parts of yourself, which are split from you, the parts you long for again. You experience your own split off soul-energies via the body of the other. In the contact, touching and arousal, you experience with the help of the other the very vastness and expansion, which have become alien to you. The forces, which you long for and sense in sexuality, are of ethereal and spiritual nature – not earthly, not physical, even though they express themselves on earth and in the body.

If you believe to desire and need another, you have not yet grasped, that you desire and need yourself deeply. Sexuality is an aid to get close to your own Self through the other – often it is misunderstood and abused. Yet because as your own feeling, thinking and wanting alone can lead you to your Self, to your own Spirit and true core, this quest for yourself will remain unfulfilled, as long as you direct your feeling, thinking and wanting in sexuality – and all other areas of life - toward the other person and not toward yourself.

Once you found your Self, you carry a living love (to yourself and others) within you. You no longer depend on sexuality. You are no longer needy. Yet when you experience sexuality, you will find a much deeper fulfilment, as you have ever searched for.


The sexual encounter between two people is the contact between two different fields: Shyness meets deep opening, strangeness meets familiarity. Both create a new field of tension and relaxation in their contact. If shyness and opening remain, the repeated contact becomes an everlasting encounter of the new and renewal.

This energy of strangeness, shyness, of the untouched and the new was lost inside the marriages of the last millennia. Sexuality was used to secure rights to ownership, to cover up fears and to dominate the other.

The field of strangeness in the bodily contact gives you the opportunity to open yourselves to the other, the stranger. This is an act of crossing borders: the inner opening of new and unknown realms of your life.

The field of familiarity causes the total free-fall into one’s own life, the devotion onto yourselves, the opening of your own innermost life-realms, which are one with the realms of the stranger.

SEXUS OPENS THE REALMS OF SPIRIT. SPIRIT OPENS THE REALMS OF SEXUS.
DARKNESS OPENS THE REALMS OF LIGHT. LIGHT OPENS THE REALMS OF DARKNESS.

Through catharsis, even a killer is able to become an adept and teacher for humanity. Cross through the fields of experience. Stop neither in front of them nor get stuck inside of them. Strangeness and familiarity are two very sensitive fields and forces, which create the exact counter effects. Used modestly, they create inner balance in a gentle way. Used ecstatically, they carry you via high peaks (joy) and deep valleys (pain) into your power.

The strangeness toward a person bears a field of insecurity. In the sexual encounter it creates the ability to merge with the stranger, the ability to merge the separated and lost parts of one’s own whole. The contact in the strangeness creates the ability to open up to everything, which is separate from yourselves. It heals fear and resistance toward the stranger.

A great allurement touches many of you in your longing after the mergence with a stranger, often with the dark. And this is right as it pushes you further to overcome your own boundaries, to unify polarities, to become one with what is separated from you. Because the shyness in the encounter with the other is the spiritual element on Earth, the unknown – the that carries your earthly identity, the very force, which constitutes the magic of the body. Shyness and devotion in the sexual encounter with the stranger are identical with strangeness and devotion of the human (Sexus) onto the Spirit. If you meet the stranger with shyness, the trust of both of you opens with the devotion to yourself. This is a spiritual cross-connection between the sexes (male and female) and the poles of strangeness and familiarity, which redeems the life-cross.


Female sexuality is the densest form of the Marian-love-force, the bodily expression of unconditional acceptance, devotion and opening. It is feminine mercy in highly effective form, a passive primal force, which radiates great might and creates healing. With the help of the feminine sexuality, the man can find his own wholeness and become healed (whole). It is possible to heal complete masculine cycles of evolution after the event in the free flowing feminine sexuality. Other cycles can be shortened and fulfilled quicker, as this would normally be allowed by life. Thus young warriors and priests would be led by temple-whores - High-Priestesses of the mysteries of love, who reigned between Spirit and body - through their sexuality into their fulfilment, in order for them to be able to serve in monasteries and within royal houses without suffocating later on their unfulfilled desires. Such men became sincere, strong and warm-hearted warriors and priests. Your celibate of today however, free of the magic of the feminine love-force, turns your priests, warriors and men into hungry wild beasts or into degenerated Eunuchs, simply because their spiritual descend into the body stayed unfulfilled.

Here, the woman is the giver, the woman-creator, and the man is the receiver, the creature. Yet, he receives to become creator. What the woman does not give, doesn’t allow the man to mature. Thus a world of children was created, a world of hungry, unredeemed children inside of old, decayed bodies. Thus a world of female and male offenders and male and female victims emerged.

The feminine sexuality is a force of the priest, which lets, for the well-being of all, highly spiritual currents flow freely – no being of self-gratification, self-finding and self-care, yet a being of healing the life of others. This true sexuality is totally unbound. Any partnership or marriage would kill it. It is not bound onto any societal rule or codex, onto no morale or duty, not even onto consistency or repetition. It opens at the moment of the flowing soul-spirit-love of the woman toward the open and receiving man. It opens the moment itself and fulfils it at the same time.


Bodily desires and longings vibrate inside the deep realms of the subconscious. They cannot be satisfied, only filled temporarily and therefore demand again and again – eternally hungry and desiring.

They are the roots of your bodily plant, which thirsts for water and juices, fills itself again and again and yet dies and is reborn over and over. Rebirth does not mean ascending. Rebirth reopens the cycle of the flesh again and again: hunger, satisfaction, hunger, satisfaction, hunger. Hunger is eternal, satisfaction is finite.

Resurrection lifts the flesh out of this cycle. True fulfilment is eternal - the hunger is released. Self-control leads to self-mastering, to resurrection and fulfilment.
Allow your Spirit to flow with this story:

Two people, who love each other, spend 40 days inside a room without touching each other physically. They talk to each other, are quiet with each other, open their hearts to each other and allow all currents to flow freely. They receive what the other emanates. They emanate, what the other wants to receive. Subsequently, they spend 40 nights in bed – in the same way.

During these 40 days and 40 nights the force of self-control is tested to the limits, yet at the same time it grows. It is the power to become and be completely at One with oneself. The greatest potential lies in the direct closeness to the beloved person, to whom the longing applies. The fulfilment, however, does not lie in following this longing on the outside, yet in taking it back from the other to oneself – to turn the regard onto the object into a self-regard, to find the outer inside. Through this, within each of the two the very power and wholeness emerges, which makes the other redundant: the man becomes totally man by getting back his femininity. The woman becomes totally woman by getting back her masculinity.

The man integrates within these 80 days his feminine soul-forces as well as his feminine primal-force. Thus his male body-consciousness is healed. The woman integrates her masculine soul-forces as well as her masculine primal force and heals her female body-consciousness. The unification in Spirit happens prior to the mergence of the bodies. Now neither of the two wants to have – receive. Neither is needy, yet both want and can give – to truly surrender to each other.

Matured within these 80 days of being with each other, they are able to put a grand soul-spiritual feeling-power into their encounter. This receiving becomes a giving and the giving becomes a receiving. The radiation of this highly electrifying contact goes way beyond the life-field of the participants.

This hygiene of feeling and the discipline of desire – this retrieval of the excessive body-mind - create shifts in consciousness. Other stirrings and currents than before grip the body and give it another form.

The spiritual currents of these 40 days and nights occur within the consciousness of the people, yet they change also the bodily structure, which is lifted from the old areas of desire and want, of dependency and frustration, into the areas of total freedom, to give, what you brought with you. Because the most beautiful the Spirit can do inside the body is to give itself away.

Thus your body turns into the tool of the creative Spirit, which you are in the essence of your juices and breathes – free of germs, unwanted conception and violence, free of contraceptives and medication, which are only necessary if the creative force in the physical field is weakened. This is spiritual and sexual self-authorization.


One primal pole is LIGHT, the other DARKNESS. One primal essence is FEMININE, the other MASCULINE. One primal being is SPIRIT, the other SEXUS. Only one of the two was accepted during your last ages, the other was refused. Between the two poles, a separation was constructed, a chasm, wall or border, which was constantly watched and enlarged. Immense imbalances were created, lifeless, shadowy milieus, which, depending on the dominating pole, created specific forces. These focused on keeping the oppression of the negated pole intact.

It was your evolutionary game and it worked for a long time. Yet at the end of the cycle, the point of reversal, these reigning forces had the contrary effect – namely the collapse of all old separating systems, the collapse of itself – and with that the balancing of the poles. It is a painful balancing after a painful cycle, which you cannot escape at the end of your game – blessing and curse in one, because separation is a tool of the descend of yourselves. It existed until you hit rock bottom in 2001, then it began to expire by itself. Separation and exclusivities are since a futile undertaking – in your society as well as in your love life and your body.

Yet still, up to this point the compulsory and compulsive perpetuation of the uni-polarity was possible and allowed. And you have perpetuated it with an immeasurable inner and outer effort and at terrific energy expense, made it your foundation and into your one and only imaginable reality. Yet right from the start, it was only an illusion in your game, from which you once knew that you had to let go of it at the end. If you keep trying to maintain separation, it will cost you all life-force, without effect or win. Because since the Turn Of Time, separation turned into a huge waste of energy. Lets look at some examples.


Within your religions and churches lies the separation between Spirit and Sexus (body). Spirit is elevated, Sexus abjected. When Sexus dies, Spirit does also, as both can only live by a lively, joint flowing. However, is not a true death, yet a shadow-death or a coma in the twilight, a dead life or a living death. What’s left is a shadow-mind in a sick, brittle and unfulfilled body, hypocriticism and doom. Thus inside your churches emerged enforcement, fear and control, fundamentalism, violence and power over people. Authority and dependence became possible, rigour and constriction, psychosis and schizophrenia, depression and manic symptoms in great numbers and extend.

Most of your religious dogmas are built on this separation. The feminine primal being, the dark and the Sexus are condemned. They were simply placed inside an evolutionary mixer and shaken properly. This is how you created your primal sin and primal guilt, which was of feminine, dark and bodily nature. An exclusively male-spirit-light society built upon an exclusively male-spirit-light reality, which’s whole sense lay in the domination of the condemned pole, to reign over it and to never set it free. Well, in this way, the jailors walked together with their prisoners toward the end - to die together with them. Yet this death was gonna be a light-death, which was followed by true change. Hypocritical were your times – and yet sacred, as you pushed your light, masculine, spiritual, cosmic roots deeply into the dark, feminine physical ground of the planet. You have become strong, and infinite blossoms and fruits are growing on your tree.


Lets take a look at the other milieu, which emerged out of this hermetical separation between the poles. Whom all good Spirits leave opens toward the Non-Spirit. The foreign consciousness, the demonic, was able to embed itself into your life, thinking, body and feeling: illness emerged – simply by your restricted breathes between the poles. Your bodies aged and decayed. Dependence, fear and pressure directed each of your innermost stirrings and stopped them long before the dance of life. Left were limited and limiting communications on all levels. A huge spectrum of illness, destiny and death, of unwanted and sick births, of violence and execution, misery and epidemics became an accepted certainty in your life.

In the public arena emerged a breathtaking diversity of all forms of violence und fear, of commerce and enslavement of your souls. You stamped Sexus, your body-being, into the one and only reality of your life. This is how your illness-industries could emerge. This is how your educational system emerged, which is solely based upon uninspiring and dissecting thinking. This is how your caring systems emerged, which are based upon feeling without intuition - on the lowest instinctual orientation.

Thus emerged the enslavement of your sexuality including its worldwide human-, children- and woman trafficking (slave trade). Thus emerged large parts of your judiciary and penal system. And of course, all churches and courtrooms, all industrial sectors and sex-industries are closely interwoven. Because deeply, none of them can exist without the other, finds no perspective without the other. So you all, in the separation of your poles, lowered yourselves into the dirt of the world and yet became One within it at the end.


For many millennia the first pain of a female being occurred right after conception: to be an unwanted gender, a girl. The deprivation of love and meaning started with the birth. The reduction of life-value embedded itself deeply into the cell-structure. Early employment, taking responsibility for the male siblings and the prohibition to follow her own affinities, stole her childhood.

In male societies, girls were nothing. They were not nourished on a soul level and could not grow into lively, mature women and mothers. Later, they found nothing else than the continuation of their childish traumata. They were married to men, who carried on their affliction – and their sons became like the fathers. As mothers, they passed – without being consciously aware of it – the experienced degradation onto their kids: Daughters are of lesser value than sons. Often, the daughters also had to take on the self-hatred of their mothers. All fundamentalist, violent and inhuman men are sons of mothers, who took exactly this potential onto themselves and passed it on subconsciously.

Women are beings of devotion and reception. In its unredeemed form they succumb to the male dictate and receive humiliation. They are unresisting. Women are beings of nurturing and protection. In its unredeemed form, they feed themselves and their children with uselessness, protect and guard forms of soul-imprisonment. They are malnourished and without power at soul level, live without a lively wisdom – victims of the male system and at the same time accomplices in its perpetuation.

Of course, all this is based on wisdom. Of course, not a single day and no single life are lost. At the end of the cycles, the woman will let go of the old and find herself. She will open the treasury of her feminine essences, grow and shine within it. At the end, she will know deeply that she has to give infinitely much, simply because she is a woman.

The first trauma of a male being on Earth is a mother, who betrays herself by not living her femininity. The first deep baffle is the experience to be something special, better than the sisters. All attention, which these don’t get, is focused onto him. Through this, he is overwhelmed on a soul level, overcharged, is suffocating and isolated – separated and spiritually split off from his sisters.

What separates him from his sisters also separates him from his own feminine force, which is a part of his whole being. If he is the only son, he gets into isolation and at the same time pushed into high moral demands and expectations of his parents. He gets under pressure, which may show up as asthma, manic depressions and a disposition for violence. As one amongst several sons, the element of competition is added, of power struggles and fights.

According to his temper and mentality, he will turn into either Softie or Macho. In both cases, the masculine element is overemphasized and lonely. The Softie refuses his masculinity and looks for his salvation in a superimposed femininity; he refuses his own gender. The Macho in contrast makes a show of it, without any measure or sensitivity, often into ridicule. In both cases – that of the isolated girls and boys – male and female energies are doubly separated: the girls from the boys and the male and female energies in both of them. Neither meets the other within their true being. Neither can give the other what they have to give. Neither can receive from the other what they need. Neither gets to know and to cherish themselves. Both beings starve with and next to each other.


The spiritual consciousness (Spirit) built itself the body (Sexus) in order to experience and explore the separation from itself and to unify them both again at the end of time. The lower body-mind (the Ego) constructed illnesses in order to be able to experience and explore the meaning of its body. It is hardly possible to express the duality of your battle and your love more directly than via the genitals of your male and female bodies:



The vagina is the female sheath for the male sword. It is the anteroom of the sexual underworld, as well as the temple of lust for oneself and the other. It is the room of the temporary mergence of the two-split human. The orgasm allows the short termed contact of spiritual Oneness inside the physical body, the release from the chains of duality.

The womb is the birth-cavity of all small warriors and woman-healers of this world, all tyrants and redeemers. In this primal ground of physical life ripens each being, which develops through war and peace, pain and forgiveness, into the highest form. The womb has an extraordinary powerful musculature, a typical sign of male force within the female body, which in this case protects the vulnerable female net.

The ovaries are the treasuries of the feminine fertility of a culture. Inside them lies hidden the complete feminine heritage of human evolution and the memory of its spiritual development.

The penis is the sceptre of the masculine force within the bodily realm. As a sword, it longs for the sheath to find healing after war. As a lance, it exercises power and breaks through closed gates, opens what can or will not open itself. As a cannon, it shoots its massive surplus of male life (sperm) into the female primal cavern and bestows new life. Gentleness, tenderness and penetrance lie in one line, just as affectionate fatherhood and brutal force.

The prostate gland is the guardian of the cusp. It has to stand by its own double-role and be deeply aware of both beings – the warrior and the creator. Here sits a very sensitive demand onto the balance between these two and the trust into them. This shows itself in the male sexuality and vitality, especially in the second half of live, when the young warrior of the first half of life is followed by either magnetising feelings of guilt or electrifying creator-consciousness.

The glans is called the warhead of the male weapon, the spearhead of masculinity. Indeed, the giving and receiving of lust and life is here of martial nature. The unredeemed warrior as well as the redeemed creator activates his life-lust by tearing down resistance, pushing trough locked gates and fights for the path into new life.

The testicles are the treasuries of the male fertility of a culture. Within them lies hidden the whole masculine heritage of human evolution and the memory of its spiritual development.

Illnesses, symptoms and “simple occurrences” like marriage, birth and separation
The following is a selection from our “Spiritual Analysis” over the last years. Names and specific details are changed. Concerning marriage and birth, you can look forward to the lessons “Spirit-Birth” and “Marriage And Partnership”, which will follow shortly.

The following descriptions of symptoms are better understandable in the context of the complete analysis. However, we have limited the text here to the symptoms of the sexual organs. So does, for example, each birth of children have a specific personal meaning, next to the superior meaning. For this reason, we have put this issue here several times. The numbers in brackets are either the age of the person or the dates. Just for orientation, they have been left in the text. The text, which is written in Italic is the question or description of the client. Solutions and suggestions for release are slightly indented.


Of course, you will find yourselves within these symptom descriptions. Allow your soul and your Spirit to flow freely, allow your tears to flow freely, those of pain and those of joy. Perform the given reflections and acts of healing for your own life, too. Take the spiritual background of your pain as “spiritual pearls inside an earthy pig feeder” and - with your will and love - let them shine so brightly that the pig feeder can turn into what it really is: a goblet of life of Earth’s humanity.


Some time before and some time after the birth into the body-life the field of consciousness of your soul is open. You have the total overview over your sweet life within the spiritual realms and the coming sour life on Earth. This temporary pre-view into the future led many of you into a shock reaction, which showed itself as complications with the birth process, cramps and psychosis with your mother or yourselves. With growing into toddler age, the fields of consciousness closed and from the moment of speech, you had forgotten yourselves. The birth into the human realms was accompanied by the loss of your divine nature. It manifested in first fears – an expression of the primal split between your Spirit and your body (Sexus). Yet your renunciation from God during childhood was necessary to bring your physical body into fruition as a tool of Spirit.


My father was very disappointed. I was supposed to be a boy. He never acknowledged me as a girl.

The wish of your father to have a son after three girls is understandable. In the son, a father subconsciously wishes for HIMSELF, a mirror of himself, a regeneration and progress of his own life. Even though, you took on a female body, you have been more son than he realized. The male energies of activity, adventure, assertiveness and courage are awake within you.

With your birth the issue of “When your earthly father leaves you or does not accept you at all, the meaning lies within the fact that your divine father (your own masculine self) has you within his care right from the start” begins.

In your childhood there was no father or brother relationship. As the last-born you had total freedom of the compulsions of the family, as these had been passed onto the first-born siblings. In addition, your soul decided to spend the first years of its life in isolation, in order to grow its bipolar (feminine-masculine) potentials, without having been diluted too early or hindered by human companionship. This isolation served the concentration of your own soul-forces.

Your lack of contact to your father, which was at least free of aggression and pressure, made it possible for you to explore your own masculine soul-forces. Thus your inner search for yourself, which you started early, found the necessary space and could therefore develop quickly. Of course, as a child you were unable to comprehend all this, yet you followed your plan in the depths of your life-layers very determinedly.

Today, as you are grown up and mature, turn back to those, who helped you with their Judas-Service to become what you are.

The disappointment of your father still pulsates within you. Release it within yourself.
Gain a deep understanding for his wish after a masculine progression of his life through you and bless him for that.
Gain a deep understanding for your masculine being inside a feminine body and sanctify it.
Go inside your innermost heart-space, where you are naturally male and female at the same time, and from there, walk back to your birth. Perceive all energies, allow pictures to come, perceive your feelings back then and decide to release all shadows and veils of your childhood and youth.
Simply by deciding it, it happens.


As the first-born, you cleanse the body of your mother. You take all acids and dross into your body, which your mother collected since her childhood. These are ethereal and organic residues of pain, disappointments and traumata. We call them feelings- and thought-poisons. Thus as the first-born you become more alike your mother than the following siblings. This similarity makes you at the same time highly sensitive and also vulnerable towards the mother – rebellious because you feel you and her inside of yourself and you cannot unify these two being-energies.

You are more involved than the other siblings, not because you are the oldest, but because you bear the most resemblance to your mother, are the closest to her. Because you are “mother” too, (as a son “father). Your mother as well as you perceives this equity subconsciously and therefore both of you demand of you the same as of her.

Indeed, the first child is the stronger, more powerful soul, often a spiritual master, who takes on the pain of the elders and the leadership of the young. Indeed, it is the first-born child, who is a role model and precursor for the following siblings. It carries the responsibility for that within. Yet this does not mean to take on the earthly mother role, yet to develop one’s own inner power and through this become a role model of self-security and self-realisation, of power and clarity for others. Many hesitant humans and souls wait for others to take the first step, in order for them to find courage and orientation for themselves to take their own steps. Exactly here lies your precursor role, too. The power is within you, otherwise you would not have come forward back then as the first child.

Accept your inner power with your whole heart by opening yourself wide and letting it circulate within you whilst you breathe deeply.

Give yourself permission to awaken here and now in your life and to express yourself.
Take responsibility for your spiritual being on Earth and allow that your life will change noticeably within a very short space of time.

This responsibility has nothing to do with control, pressure or guilt, yet with self-authorization, free flowing, bliss and active creator force. Describe your perception of your old and new responsibility as exactly as possible.
Release the old and allow the new to grow.

Having not being breast fed because of the allergies of the mother
You were birthed and left early. You didn’t get the nourishing love of your mother, because she did not love herself and wars infested her body. The inability of your mother to breast feed you prevented you from the further transference of motherly traumata. Right from the beginning, you were on your own. This shows that you are a strong being, which right from the start wanted to be independent and conquer the world of mankind single-handedly, to embody your strong Spirit.

The allergy of your mother shows her non-existent will to live, her non-existent willingness to absorb the world into herself – to eat, to digest and to be healthy. You, as the first and only child, took on her lack of contact and tenderness toward herself and others. These forces, this mother, you choose as the best suitable dark ground, in which you wanted to grow your light roots. It was to become a tough, yet promising growth.

Of course you, took on a large part of the allergies. Ultimately, you came to redeem your mother. Allergies are inner conflicts of high aggression, not expressed masculine creatorship and a high feminine sensitivity, which is likewise suppressed. Allergies emerge within the either-or-thinking: “The one can be, the other can not”. They emerge within the separation of the poles from each other. Both poles want to exist and flow with each other. Both poles are very strong. However, the mind says: “No, only you!” – and the body pays the price. Allergies express themselves in severe attacks and over-reactions, in unrestrained armament of the hormone- and acidic system as well as in blind defence towards all enzymes, acids and minerals, which are identified as invaders. These are ambush- and raid-attacks against one’s own life, signs of a massive ignorance and imbalance of the inner forces. An allergy is a polarization of duality in the body, which allows no middle way, no bandwidths and no spectrum, yet only black or white, LIFE or DEATH! Twisted and exaggerated concepts of the enemy are typical, whereby you chase away friends (food) and attract enemies (bacteria).

There is genius in this, though: In this way, you totally withdraw from the horizontal branch of your life-cross. You are left with the central point and ultimately with the vertical branch, which vibrates between your divine light and your divine darkness (see also lesson 6 “Heart And Cross”).

Here, you have found a wonderful, earthly field, where you can grind, inflame and finally shine your great spiritual forces. Your subconscious aggressiveness in your childhood was often the catalyst for hurt, which others inflicted upon you. As your mother before you, you made the experience that vibrancy, joy and vitality are undesirable on Earth. However, they were within you in large extent. What begins in childhood as oppression finally matures into crystalline vibrancy. Be consoled: “The grandest pupils receive the greatest tasks.” And:
“The more facets your crystal has, the more often it was honed and the more it radiates and shines at the end.”


Getting married is the start of an active relocation and revival of the conflicts, you took on from the old family, into a new family. At this moment, you can see to which extend you have released the old forces of “oppression, fear and aggression”, the separation between the male and female poles and to which extend you – no longer a child, yet an adult – wish to explore and study these further. Next to thus far unfulfilled hopes and wishes, the new family also takes on the space of a torturing tightness to the degree to which each partner brings in their own unreleased childhood traumata. You now explore together, without the outer parents, who, however, reign deeply within each of you. Under modified conditions it is now possible to further study the pain from one’s own childhood and youth together.

Such crusts of your parents, that you took on and didn’t resolve, you pass onto the first child. If the conflict previously lay open between you and your father, it will now open between your suppressed feminine feeling and your reigning masculine thinking. You project the old conflict between you and your parents in your feelings and thoughts onto you as the feminine spouse and onto Peter as the masculine spouse – and with that, you give him the power, which was previously held by your father. Now, you are the mother and he is the father and the game is re-opened again – or can shift (gentle or painful, at the beginning of time or after many troublesome years, depending on your attention and choice).


It is the same with the birth of your children. You pass onto them, what is inside you: The old pain, which you have released within yourself, flows as crystalline energies and merge with the crystalline consciousness of the incarnating. Whatever you have not yet released, even though there is an inner intention for it, is passed as a grey energy onto the masters, who become your children. Thus, in deep soul-love, you took on the pain and darkness of the ages and your parents and fore-bearers and your kids do the same. They take on all your unreleased pain, questions, longings, wishes and fears. The first-born gets the most. At the same time, these beings from other worlds come with their very own intentions and abilities to Earth, which have little to do with the earthly flow of family. They only use this (just like you) to get to know mankind and to experience, what it is they suffer from and how to help best. They have come for their own projects.

Therefore your kids mirror on the one hand a part of your own forces, which you radiate into their aura-bodies: behaviours, ways of reacting and illnesses. On the other hand, these old earthly pains and energies are annoying to them, as they would rather turn to what they came for. Yet they are, like you, for a time at the mercy and subject to these forces. A true uncaring mother can only be such because she neglects herself, denies her own salvation, her childlike delight and her masculine force. The best soul-nourishment a child or grandchild can get is a happy and vibrant mother or grandmother, who totally stands by her “inner calamities” and allows them to shift.

From your adult heart, perceive the true meaning of a caring mother. Which attributes do you find for yourself?
Find out when and where you did not take care of yourself and what you therewith passed unconsidered onto the children.
Breathe the crystalline heart-light (look up Meditation for the Earth / The Crystalline Heart-Breath) and shine it into your life.
Perceive, that with that the lives of all others lighten as well.


Simon was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. I cried for half a year and felt a lot of aggression toward him. It’s hard to let both go. There is a close emotional connection to the son. All the while, I worry about others (kids, colleagues, parents, siblings), must pray for protection for them and let go of anxious thoughts. There is a compulsion to help others. I cannot handle it, if others don’t feel good.
I like to control them. Since I started to work and my kids were born, I stressed a lot, cried a lot and felt aggressions against myself. It is almost an addiction to know what others feel and think; I control my kids out of worry that they are truly happy.

From the distance, I can feel if something is not right, I get uneasy; the spiritual connection between Simon and me is very bothersome. He carries great aggressions against me these days.

Worry and fear for others seem to be the reason for control and oppression. However, the reason lies within a negation of one’s own ability to love, which is within you in great measure; the same ability to love, Maria has, the ability to be the mother of an infinite number of “children”. The addiction, to know, what others feel and think, covers for a time the necessity to allow one’s own positive and negative feelings to arise. Your inner light is extremely grand and so, via the birth, you have let yourself down into an extremely dark pit, into which you could grow your roots. Two things developed at the same time:

In the outer world, your belly (fear and worry) pocketed your Ego completely and permanently sends the need for action onto the head: at one time, he needs to control, at some other intervene and yet another, pray! The head became the slave of negative belly-feelings. You came to Earth with the intention to redeem pain, misery and fear and so during your early childhood, for starters you decided to suffer with others, be pained with others and fear with others. Later, from the 4. year on, you met with control and oppression, first against yourself and later to apply it yourself. Therefore, when you were five years old, you already had collected all tools and means, which now had to mature within you. They have matured and become strong, and finally, they turned against yourself.

The principle is maintained if it is not consciously shifted. It creates the same structures on the outside. Who oppresses themselves, also oppresses others – and will be oppressed by others. It is an eternal game. Your children came into this world in exactly this field of your own fears and oppression, your “suffering with” and your control. They totally fulfilled your – still subconscious – wish, to be needed and irreplaceable. At the same time, they struggled with all means at their disposal against this, as they are self-contained beings, independent from you.
The solution to the riddle: The subconscious will to be needed and be irreplaceable is only a childish expression of your mature, spiritual power, which is able to help, nurture and redeem on a worldwide scale, indeed. Yet this power had to mature deeply within you, whilst you controlled, prayed and suffered on the outside.

End this game now. The time and your inner light are ripe.
Release yourself into a new light-full life and also those, who you call “my children”. They are not your children. In the spiritual realms, only those are your children, who are below you in their inner development. Your earthly children are above you. Yet thousands and thousands of humans wait for the divine mother within you. This is Maria and Christ in one.

Exchange pity against compassion. Perceive yourself as a being, which has merged with all left children and all inconsolable adults, who can feel just like them – without suffering. Sense that behind every miserable mask is a shining core, which wants to be found and freed – as within you, so inside them too. The finding is the business of the heart, the freeing that of the breath. Because within your heart, you are one. Awaken this One Heart within you and breathe in compassion and acceptance.


The primal cavity of life is the domain of the feminine Spirit and the female body. Here, these two a deeply one – at the beginning and the end. The feminine forces of perception, feeling, passivity, allowing and nourishing are here in their highest potency and stay undetected on the outside. The womb is the embodied cosmic source of life, which here begins to grow in fertility and security.

The unborn flees from this cave, when it has good reason to return into its spiritual home. Whilst the child grows a body, it takes on the unreleased soul aspects, feeling-poisons and bodily acids of its mother and fore-mothers. Is this hereditary burden too much, it will cause a premature closure of development. As the child flees, the mother does the same: She, too, pulls back from an excessive body-soul-spirit demand when things become too hot. In the spiritual realm, both are in agreement.

The Ego of the mother deports the child-soul like an unwanted guest, because it still battles with its own soul – one opponent is quite enough at any one time. Inflammations, which arise out of this, yet don’t necessarily have to, express pressing conflicts: stress (resistance against one’s own life-breath), blood loss (letting go of one’s own life-juice), overcharge (ignorance of one’s own inner strength).

The abortion is wanted by you, the mother, as well as by the child. Your own birth drama gets repeated here, at which - with your all dimensions permeating “NO” - you cancelled out your own life-force till today At that time, your soul, too, wanted to backtrack. What it had taken upon itself was too much for it. Yet Spirit didn’t allow it, it said: “YES” and stuck with it. The soul stuck defiantly with its “NO”. And indeed, it became a life path, where one subconscious suicide attempt followed another. Yet your Spirit stayed with the YES. It wanted that your body lived in order to take it over later in maturity. Now all of the traumata, which are connected with your own birth, have risen during this abortion yet again. There were so many, that they forced you into a depression, yet only in order for you to release them now and change the NO to life into a YES. After all these painful years of outer confusion and inner maturing, today it is only a question of your decision.

Obtain an acceptance with the decision of your Spirit to live.
Decide to also say YES and then do it within a wide opening of your heart and in deep breathing. (Meditation: Affirmation of one’s own life at the end of this lesson.)

The refusal of your own life was not able to nurture another life (child).
Admit your self-refusal; allow it to flow and to let go of you.
Move through the feelings and energies, which result out of this.
Build a nest in regard to the soul and the physical, where you can reconcile with your inner child and the issue of “giving life and be given life”.


The Ego of the mother decides in a determining moment to stay creature, to not take responsibility for new life and instead prefers to stay a child herself. A local weakness in the bodily defence results in an inflammation of the vagina. This sounds harmless, yet is a very clever occurrence, namely a strength of defence, which causes a war (inflammation) over the male creatorship inside the most feminine of all rooms. This strategy alone shows that the inner maturity for one’s own father-mother-hood is there. The inflammation rises and causes labour pains.

A soul, which is stripped of its feminine power, is not able to protect and defend the bodily entrance (vagina) into its own inner world (birth cavity). The Ego battles with the soul. It is a conflict between one’s own (male) thinking and (female) feeling, as well as between foreign intentions (outside) and inner truth (inside). Both battle within the cross of life for their survival.

The battle occupies the exit. Finally it pushes inside and throws the child out of its nest. Not the battle kills the child, yet impatience, drive and the wish for the “quick fix”. Subconsciously you want to deliver the child as quickly as possible, no longer carry this child to term. Here, the male warrior (Ego) interfered with the childbirth, which does not lead to LIFE but to DEATH. Who wishes to give life to either inner or physical child prematurely, just wishes to cut off problems, without looking at and accepting them. The therein-contained harvest is lost. You cannot let go of the old (unloved) before it is ripe, even if the time seems way too long. Only then, it can be shifted and crystallised completely.

Open yourself up to the hastily tendencies to separate and the reflexes to flee, which reign within you. Allow them to be. Allow them to circulate within you and to dance out of your life-field.

Do the same with the corresponding counter-force: to keep the inner duties, promises and oaths, you gave.

Both (duties and reflexes to flee) are foreign forces, which were able to entangle you into a life-long inner battle between hidden head-aspects of control and belly-aspects of refusal.

You may arrive early for some earthly events – and be late for others. Let that be deeply neutral. Instead arrive within yourself. Here you know: “ I AM NOW HERE” and “Everything has its time” and “I AM always at the right time at the right place”.

Allow your own fruit to ripen, until they fall into your hands by themselves. Trust YOUR SELF.


Your feminine-spiritual ego-will to nourish and heal others, to have come for the world, overshoots the mark of your body and forces it into the task of being an everlasting wellspring of life. To begin with, you only have one child, which you must feed with your mother milk. Yet there is another child, which is malnourished: You yourself, your inner child, which grew up inside the field of soul-hunger, for your intent to heal and strengthen mankind. So far so good.

You came as a nurturer of many, indeed. However, you are not yet able to give this nourishment appropriately. This food is of spiritual nature. It is the crystalline emanation of your body, your heart-crystal-light, which has shifted all of its own darkness and now shines within you. Excessive milk-flow is only compensation half way, which at least shows your own grandeur and the earthly stand of affairs. The problem right now lies in the fact that you want to nourish others with unsuitable food, just like you yourself have been fed substitutes and compensational “nutrition” (food, sweets etc.) instead of love and encouragement.

Become aware of your own excessive feeding consciousness and deeply allow it.
Begin to give yourself enough nourishment on a soul level: joy, relaxation, sleep, stories, music – whatever makes you happy and opens you up.

Consciously turn toward your inner child. Look at what it missed during its childhood and give this now. Reflect your childhood: “Where have I been overfed and where did I miss too much?”

From now on allow your divine Spirit to nurture your soul and your body. Allow your body to become independent of food and to metabolise the Spirit-Light.


A myoma is a lump, which forms from the darkened consciousness of unreleased wishes to procreate. Yet these wishes are only the compensation of being unfulfilled on a soul level. It is an empty, soul-less embryo, an outgrowth and misled development on the level of fertility. The infantile-feminine soul-force was unable to adequately evolve. Now it solidified as a lump in the womb – a possibility of the creative soul to express itself. The myoma points toward a lack of security and fertility in one’s own soul and Spirit life-realm – the wish to be a child, which could not find space during it’s own childhood.

The womb is the primal cavity of all life, the primal principle of feminine creative force. If you give in to the pressure of a male dominated society and avoid yourself, you separate yourself from your own feminine primal force. The excision of the womb is a radical intervention on all levels – body, soul and Spirit – as with it the primal potency of the feminine force, which is domiciled in this organ, is also dislodged.

During the old age, you depended upon your organs to be nourished by their specific energies, in this case: feminine security, protection and sustenance. In the new age these neglected forces reactivate themselves and awaken. You no longer depend upon the organ itself, but very much on the force of its soul-spirit field.

Remove yourself from the imposed male principle of thinking, feeling and acting.
Start to play with feelings and thoughts like a child would with balls.
Allow your own inner child, the small, maybe seven-year-old girl from back then, more space.
Allow your feminine Spirit to evolve in your life and to melt with the masculine one inside.
Allow yourself fertility of the soul and spiritual growth within the body-space. They are within you and press for expression. Allow your spiritual children to come. Allow your inner fertility, which you pushed aside thus far, to open new perspectives in your life. Accept your own spiritual motherhood, with which you came to Earth, for the protection and nurture of all earthly children – the small as well as the grown, the light ones as well as the dark ones.

“Feel more than you think. Dream more than you plan. Sleep more than be awake. Be more than you want or wish to become. I Am with you at all times. I Am Maria.”


If Spirit is strongly and permanently separated from Sexus, an infinite emptiness and feeling of being unfulfilled emerges inside the body and turn it into a battlefield. A chronically banned sexuality, a negated innermost connection between Spirit and body of one and the same being, casts a shadow and leaves behind great energies of frustration, which totally block a lively flow. You deviated this far from your very own feminine-motherly nature that masculine warriors and alien forms of consciousness (cancerous cells) were able to occupy your female primal life-ground and turn it into a battlefield. Your feminine energies and essences were long enough inactive for the male energies of your body to recklessly spread and aggressively break out. This symptom occurs when there is a spiritual motherhood, which is not lived within the bodily realm. It is a deep form of self-refusal in the sense that the spiritual intent is negated and unfulfilled.

Allow yourself own ideas, fantasies and dreams.
Decide to find your own creativity and identity and allow expansive growth.
Allow your female creativity and your own childish ideas free flow and expression.
Don’t rein them back in, yet play with them.
Also allow your masculine boldness to open gates within your inner worlds and to follow brave and risky impulses.
Decide to find your own inner path.


The inner refusal of the Ego to care for itself lets the feminine wellspring run dry. The tender bosom of the female nature dries up and hardens – and finally male armies march across the land and turn it into a dry, burning battlefield. It is the fear to live one’s own self, the refusal to love one self, which you took on from the fore-mothers of the last age. Yet you can redeem them. It is the battle between the old, on motherliness, home and stove bound role of a woman and the new mother, who combines child and lover within her; between old responsibility and the new wish for freedom – a being pulled back and forth, which cannot find a standpoint and burns the feminine life-force instead.

One’s own feminine and soul-identity remains unrecognised, whilst the imposed male feelings of society superimpose the body consciousness. This foreignness of one’s own femininity (woman-healer) results in a foreign occupation of male powers (warriors).

Decide to live your own femininity. Stop all false considerations.
Ascend into your own light and stand by yourself and by your femininity.
Focus your attention onto the many people, who you can give comfort and courage to just by being there, and accept this as a high quality of your spiritual motherhood.
Allow yourself negative emotions such as rage and aggression. Allow them to rise and breathe them out.

Men love feminine women. As tough is it may sound: the refusal of your own femininity shines through and has consequences. The contradiction is that men and society on the one hand oppress exactly this female force, on the other hand demand, even long for it. The lively, vibrating feminine essences, the different feminine-infantile forces, the powerful rays of a lived, charismatic femininity were suppressed by men for a long time. They were too active, too independent, too dangerous for the male society. The girlish soft features however, the devoted, gentle aspects of womanhood, the lust-full and lascivious moments of the female glances were always in demand. The world of men never wanted to do without these seemingly harmless and nourishing female energies. And so you women – in order to be able to offer the latter – have to awaken and live the former within yourselves.

Don’t quarrel with your husband, yet with yourself. Quarrel with your mind, with your fear, your adjustment and closed-off-ness. Quarrel with them constructively. Open to yourself. Speak with them and lift them into daily light.

Don’t distrust your husband, yet redeem the male superiority within yourself, which suppresses your own femininity and with that renders you uninteresting on the out- and the inside. Arrive at yourself. Liberate yourself from negative and self-destructing thought- and feeling-patterns.

The issue here is not that you must be at his back and call, if you don’t want to. It is about coming so close to yourself that you can live without fear, pressure and adjustment - in joy, power and independence – and maybe cast an eye on another interesting man.

What the other does to you only mirrors your inner forces. Nobody can inflict misery upon you when you don’t allow it subconsciously. Each misery, which was inflicted upon you, aids you to recognize yourself and to open up.


The ovaries are the treasuries of the feminine fertility of a culture. Inside them lies hidden the complete feminine heritage of human evolution and the memory of its spiritual development. The ovaries pass on their Own Life (the genotype) and guarantee the cyclic feminine rhythm. An Ego-oriented development brings male energies into the flow of the feminine forces, magnetic bonding into the fine electric currents and with that, the flow of fertility out of its rhythm. The treasuries close themselves and reveal neither life nor wisdom. This is the first phase of desolation of the body, after the soul is already in desolation.

Thus separates the women from her own life-flow and creates out of her motherly preposition misguided growth: a cyst is an in itself closed space, in which soul-water (the pain of the soul) accumulates, isolated from the organism, just as the Ego isolated the soul before. A seeming amniotic sac (a last attempt of the soul to create life) emerges, posing the danger of bursting and to pour the pent-up feeling-poisons and through-acids into the body.

Such foreign interventions onto the organism don’t necessarily originate solely out of one’s own thinking and feeling, yet are often energies and traumata, which are taken on from people close to you. In this case it was the Ego-oriented development and suicide of the beloved father of this client, which lay back three years. The first-born daughter had not overcome this loss and tried subconsciously – out of herself – to give him back his life.

Accept his and your life-decisions and trust your wisdom and love, which is the base of all life, never mind if it just comes to Earth or leaves it.

Open yourself to the higher realm of life, which is eternal and inviolable.

Cry yourself empty. Let as many tears flow as want to rise and do not stop the flow of them. Cry for as long as it takes.

Take your life, which your father gave and left to you, with all your heart. This is the very gift, you can now give to him.

Give yourself your life and guard it like a huge treasure, a secret, which has light and dark sides within its oneness.

Make space for your own development; be ready to walk your own path, just like your father chose his own path.


All lumps, cysts, tumours and cancer cells are benign in the spiritual sense, as they all have the purpose to wake the sleeping human and to lead him into independence and complete health of his spiritualised body.

Your abdomen harbours the lower world of feelings (emotions, instinct and sensual pleasure). It is the primal cavity of earthly life, the seat of infantile feelings, the navel of the body-world and the pit of all dark energies, which emerged from fear and aggression, guilt and inferiority, pride and arrogance. The belly protects and holds the life of body and soul, yet it also harbours all fears about one’s own existence and the trust into the material future.

Inner lumps emerge on the mucosa, at the inner border and layer of protection. Something alien corrodes life, eats away in the depths. It destroys the surface and allows the depths, which lay below, to be seen. Aggressions are directed against one’s own borders and create self-laceration.

Decide to allow conflicts to get close to you, to engage. They are parts and forces of yourself, which turn against you if you refuse them. By receiving, what comes at you from the outside or rises within, you open up to your own depth, which is wisdom and power.

Descend into your own depths; use your own vital forces to break down your own self-created borders. Be courageous and unconditional. Open your life-borders, which quite obviously have become too tight – otherwise there would be no lumps.

Allow the woman-healer and the warrior to live inside you. Accept both beings of your human and spiritual nature. Allow them to merge within you and therein to gently and powerfully release your life-boundaries and open the much larger life-space.



“…the demands of the women, my bad conscience and moral ideas, an inner drive and a desperate search …, but after what?”

During the youth of this highly gifted man, the parents strictly prohibited contact to peers, especially girls. This was in stark contrast to the very deep interest he had for girls – not for bodily and sexual reasons, yet because of the feminine sensitivity and nature, which also reigned in his male body and was looking for expression. He came as a creator of the fine arts of new energy, for the prefect balance between the warrior and the woman-healer of the New Earth. He is father of the earthly children, priest of the merged Spirit-Sexus and devoted lover of many women. He chose a life situation, which on the outside radically blocked what vibrated within for life and expression. It starved, parched and dried up.

“There, where you incarnated, is neither sustenance nor fulfilment for your human needs. Maybe this is a great drama from the earthly perspective – a life without meaning and view of satisfaction. From the spiritual view point however, this life was not about the fulfilment of sensual and bodily needs, yet it is about their assimilation within your body, their overcoming with the help of your specific abilities and the mergence between your ingenious mind and the mortal, gluttonous body. Only once you have performed this mergence within you, your true life on Earth can begin. Then the intent of your incarnation can be fulfilled. Any life-hunger and life-thirst on Earth can never be quenched and repeats itself endlessly. Within the spiritual realms lie repletion and fulfilment. This spiritual realm does not lie in a spiritual world beyond your horizon, yet it is within the embodied Spirit on Earth – yourself.

The new age is also one of a new sexuality, a new oneness between Spirit and body. During the old time, it was an issue of high polarity: power – powerlessness. In the new time, it is going to be an act of deep mergence between may poles. The masculine and feminine energies will flow together and form a new being as will thinking and feeling, and the scientific and artistic branches of your professions. Body and Spirit will unify, yes: heaven and hell. You came at a time to Earth, as the earthly humanity reached the outer edge of its powerlessness. Old ideas of male and female roles are so stuck that an escape from this net seems impossible. Yet still, this pain-felt has to shift drastically within a short space of time. Mankind is unable to induce this shift. For millennia, both sexes have suffered unspeakably under power and abuse, foreign rule and censorship, shame and guilt, love and violence. Their inner powers have fallen into dust and they need your help.

You did not come to receive, to be cared for, to be a child and creature. These roles you just studied during the first half of your life, to get close to the true receiving and the true creatures. Therefore you are no victim of your upbringing and the circumstances of your life, yet a studying Spirit, a giver, a father and creator. This self-understanding alone can help you, to rise from the valley of pain and to recognize who you truly are.
Please understand rightly: This does not mean that you can no longer live and exchange sexuality. It does mean that you need to comprehend your sexuality deeply as a being of your own spiritual nature – to feel it, free it and live it.”

The prostate encloses the urethra and administers the main volume of the seminal fluid. With the prostate secretion it makes sure that the proper milieu and sustenance of the sperm on their way to the ovum is given, which is a feminine, providing function. Here sits the trust into one’s own male sexuality and vitality as well as the ability to release the wars and frustrations of the first half of life. The prostate is the guardian of the cusp into the second half of life, which will either be lived as a victim of a uni-polar society or as a matured, fatherly and martial creator. Here lies the potential of the woman-healer within the male body, the ability for forgiveness and redemption of the young, wild years. So it is subject to one’s own inner decision, to be a decayed doter or a charismatic man. The question of guilt and victim-hood is opposed by that of self-authorisation and absolution. Will you now hang your head or lift it? Which reality do you chose?


An inflammation is a flared up fire, a broken out war, a grim battle inside your organism. It is caused by the grim dominance of masculine control over the feminine flow. Male thinking and female feeling also need a proper balance within the male body.

And not only your own current thinking and feeling is unbalanced, not only your own will to control sets your body afire. There are two other magnitudes, which currently have a formidable influence upon you (all of you): There is firstly the human morale of society, on which staff your measure yourself. At the end of time, you are here in the midst of a great field of tension between hardening and softening, between offender-hood and creator-ship. Secondly, during this time energies within all of you are rising, which were trapped and stuck for millennia: those of the male warrior, who took what he wanted, and those of the female victim, who had to give what it did not want to. Both experiences and pain energies are within you. If you measure them here and now by the guilt-and-atonement-principle – and it is exactly that what most of you are doing subconsciously – you will simply snap.

A prostate inflammation is caused by coccoid bacteria via the urinary tract, uni-polar cells, which have no nucleus, and therefore no life-flame; or though E.coli, protective bacteria of the intestine, which cause destruction in other body areas. The bladder and the intestine are the last closed spaces before the discharge of old feminine feeling-poisons and masculine thinking-dross – urine and bowel movements. The pain and residue of feminine-infantile feeling is disposed off by the urine, the dross and residues of male thinking via the intestine.

Your body aligns itself to your thinking and feeling, even if these are subconscious. Thoughts and feelings are creative forces, which either open the gates of your body or close them off. In this case they are closed off and the release, the letting go of the old, cannot happen. Instead, held-onto feelings of guilt turn into poison and bacteria, just on the very gate, which could bring forth new life.

It is the subconscious inner conflict between the warrior and the woman-healer inside you, between female and male sexuality, which indeed are very different from each other. It is the conflict between your male-martial-offensive and your female-gentle-passive nature. It is a conflict between your own perceptions and the dictate of society, which unredeemed feminine nature demands of you to be gentle and fatherly (Softie) as well as tough and charismatic (Macho) – yet judges you for both of them. You want to do it right, yet you don’t have a chance to truly implement it.

Take the challenge and deal with your own male-female double nature. Don’t refuse anything, yet explore the many hidden aspects of your life.

Deal with pending battles, never mind if they come from the inside (assaults from the waste area intestine or sewage area bladder) or the outside (demands for certain behaviours, reactions and alignments).

Protect your feminine prostate from male live-less pathogens by opening up to your own spiritual and soul-stirrings. Let go of all male role models and engage more with your own sexuality.

(47) Enlargement of the prostate (Hypertrophy)
Human life crossed through its reversal point and reminds at this age of letting go. It is a phenomenon of the embodied Spirit: it creates a body, which grows and matures. Life in the flesh begins and reaches its climax to now open out into another phenomenon: the spiritualization of the body.

The male sperm has the power to produce new bodies – during the first half of life the body of a child, during the second half of life its own body. The essence of the semen harbours those spiritual-masculine primal forces, which create new life and respectively can be used for the total regeneration of the own aging body.

Thus at this age a decision has to be made, which will either dry out the flow of life and semen or divert it.

If you decide for the retention of the outer sexuality, it will become pressure and constraint, under which your body suffers and decays in time. The male emanation looses its power, the distribution of new life turns into a trickle before it finally dries out completely.

What wants to physically ebb as the time for the inner shift has come, exaggerates into unnatural growth, when the Ego-mind does not let go. From your inner adherence emerges a permanent outer pressure to let go, which hinders all free flowing, calmness and inner change. Congestion of wastewater and urine burden the body and put it under pressure, which aggravates the fear of getting old.

Understand your sexuality as a deeply independent being of your embodied Spirit and allow it to flow in the name of the spiritualization of your body – within yourself and for yourself. The spiritual essences of your semen are able to make your body totally healthy, vital, and even immortal!
Allow this being, which is not subordinate to your thinking and feeling, to expand within your life.
Approach your own female pole, open it and allow the reversal of powers in your life.

Take stock at the reversal point of life: Which aspects, wishes and forces of your life have been fulfilled and which were not? Allow some time for this self-study; wander through the years of your childhood, youth and adulthood. Do this from the heart without remorse and guilt.

Breathe out all old ideas of manhood and reconcile with your masculine-feminine self inside a male body. Simply because you decide, it happens.


The feminine supply system of the male semen is wildly and recklessly overgrown by the influence of male hormones. The reasons are massive, corroding and very old experiences in sexuality (see also: An Atlantean Story), resulting in current conflicts, which rise with the darkness of the ages within you. Atrocious, repugnant issues, experiences and energies led this man so far away from his spiritual evolutionary line, that the body is under the threat to just snap from the raging forces in the underground. Yet, he also draws attention to these imprisoned and forgotten energies, and allows the breakthrough, the shift and release a chance.

The growth of soul and Spirit in this area of life is so blocked, it has no other way than to embody itself in such an aggressive and chaotic way. The necessary expanding growth of the glands for the feminine supply of male sperm and provision of the lubricants (readiness for a flowing recreation) fails to appear.

The traumatized body tries to substitute for what the feminine soul in its blocked off life-water flow cannot accomplish - and the male-martial fire-forces, the cancer, expand.

The issue of hypertrophy is carried on here in a massive way. What happens is an aggressive destruction of the prostate gland from the inside – a brutal massacre of one’s own feminine soul-forces. This equals the millennia lasting male creator-ship and offender-hood, the nature of war, which right from the beginning is geared to destroy all old life and create new – with love as well as with force.

And indeed at the end of time all men and women have forgotten their primal creator force. Instead, they suffer from the old victim- and offender-hood and do not want to let them go. Thus you demand atonement, yet don’t give it, feel guilty yet refuse yourself absolution, feel crucified and don’t believe in the resurrection from your shadow-life. You still point your finger at the other gender and expect, demand, suffer and break – as so often in the line of your embodied lives.

Let go of your old ideas of male and female sexuality radically. Perceive how reckless they destroy your body.
Allow all victim and offender energies of your life to rise from the deep rooms of your sub-consciousness. Allow all dark and light energies to change within a free flow into crystalline light.

Allow all inner images, pictures and fantasies of your sexuality; let them play and expand within you courageously and freely. Feel the Spirit of light-sexuality in your body as a lively current, which deeply fulfils you.

Remember dreams and goals, wishes and ideas of eroticism, sexuality and love. Breathe them up from the dungeons of your subconscious. Liberate them and do not fear them, however wild they may appear.

Create a fiery life-dance between your soul and your body. Pour the water of life over your pain-fires. Find the spring of your life and scoop the courage for fulfilling your life out of it.

Discover your own transboundary love, which with great ease overrides over-direction, dogma and standards and only answers to your own highest Spirit.
Simply by deciding this, it happens, indeed!


Breathe deeply and open your heart. Allow your body-energies to gently sink into the ground. Allow your soul to rise into the crystalline realms of the light Spirit. Become empty, wide and free. Be One with the community of Spirit within security.

Allow a crystalline tower to emerge in front of your inner view, your life tower – or just imagine it. Walk toward it and slip through the door.

A spiral staircase leads you up through the rooms of the body, the soul and the Spirit. Climb up and feel your steps getting lighter – freer, the higher you get.

Right at the top, you reach a platform, which is encased by a small wall. Sit down and lean onto the wall, rest a little. Glance through the eternal space of all and nothing, which surrounds the tower of your life.

Feel your heart, the God-Spirit, which caresses and flows around your body and soul. The Spirit of light and dark flows through your breath and through your pores inside of you. The Spirit of the primal masculine and primal feminine flows through you with great might and gentleness.

Open up completely.
Open your heart once more and breathe deeply.
Refresh yourself and renew your life.
Breathe deeply and receive light and darkness within you.
Receive them with your loving will and willing love,
with all your heart and all your soul.

When you are ready, allow your Spirit to flow gently and naturally back to the place and time when you were born. Just watch – do nothing.

And then flow back to the time of conception of your earthly body. Just watch, breathe deeply and do nothing.

And finally allow yourself to float over the border, through the membrane of your bodily life into the time of your preparations for this earthly life.

See the time-less space in transcending, shimmering white and sense the presence of many beings of Spirit. Step into the middle of their circle and open yourself to them. Allow them to bring the current of your memories into flow, beginning gently and then swelling.

There are memories from the light and the darkness. There are memories on intentions and experiences. There are memories on female and male bodies. Allow that your brothers and sisters take your hand and walk with you through the ages and life-spans of your incarnations.


Allow them to show you your life pacts, goals and basic conditions, those pains, which you wished to experience in the darkness. Be prepared to accept inner guidance and outer blows of fate, to comprehend and to let them go eventually.

Know deeply that your life-plans are and were sacred – just as your life-paths. Recall that pain and love are of one nature. By opening yourself to this knowledge, the path into new worlds illuminates – matching your primal intent – in front of your feet. By letting light and darkness dance with each other, you create the crystalline light of the new age. Anchor these new energies on Earth – from the bottom of your heart – for all. Because this was your plan.

Finally return to the platform of your life-tower. Be still – breathe deeply. Open all realms of your life, the conscious and the subconscious, the loved and the unloved, the known and the unknown.

In this place once again confirm with your grown-up consent your birth onto Earth.

Take a deep breath and declare your deepest consent with the birth into this earthly life: “ I AM ONE WITH MY LIFE.”

Take a deep breath and declare your deepest consent with all that is now: “I AM ONE WITH ALL THAT IS NOW.”

Now, as you confirmed your life-intent, you are within the current of the present, which carries your life. You can let go of old life pacts, as they are fulfilled and are no longer valid.

When you are ready, take a deep breath and declare with all your heart, to let go of all old thoughts, feelings and habits: “I AM NOW FREE”!

Take a deep breath and declare your deepest consent, to let go of all shock conditions and all foreign consciousness, never mind at which level of creation and consciousness they act: “I AM NOW ONE AND AT PEACE WITH MYSELF.”

Take a deep breath and declare your deepest consent to terminate all old life pacts: “NOW, I LET GO OF ALL PACTS OF MY LIFE.”

Take a deep breath and declare your deepest consent to let go of all poverty-, trader- and warrior-oaths, all vows and bans of believes: “I AM ONE WITH THE WEALTH OF THE FLOWING CREATION.”

Take a deep breath and declare your deepest consent to consciously receive your divine self now: “I AM THAT I AM. Bereshit ehey ascher ehey“ or „ I AM NOW HERE!“

This is our declaration of love, which flows across all borders, onto you men and women of this world, who, from our point of view are neither men nor women – and yet both at the same time. At the end of this old time and the beginning of a new, you are warriors of love, healers of pain, creators of the new worlds and masters of duality. Indeed, we are deeply with you!

I Am St. Germain.
I Am Sabine.



Please pass on these texts, lessons and the website HUMANCRYSTAL. Invite as many people as possible to this material, also - and especially - people who are spiritually not engaged. Respect our copyright of these texts and distribute them all over the world - for the benefit of ALL and the Earth. Our love is flowing with every word.
Please help us to find some more translators for English, French and other languages. Thank you.


I thank you, who attend the Internet seminar, blossom in it and in that way present the world with a great gift. I thank St. Germain and the entities of the Crimson Council and of the spiritual world, who now are letting their celestial love flow in a much more tangible way into our daily life. I thank you, who add their human love, wisdom and power. I thank all of you, who give us financial support. This way we will continue and expand this work. If you want a receipt, please mail your address.

Bank account in Switzerland: Account number: 84-314 16-5 Bank: DIE POST
Bank account in Germany: Account number: 5000541300 BLZ: 27893760 Volksbank
Seesen
IBAN: DE66 2789 3760 5000 5413 00 / BIC Code:
GENODEF1SES